It's just the way it is

I was thinking about a friend that I have and was realizing that our friendship is going through changes; it makes me sad. Not to be a downer or anything, but this is how I am feeling right now... Friendship should not be one sided. I have been there for many of your troubled times and it is rare that I call you in need. With that, I have realized that, we are at different places in our lives. You are very involved with your family; there for every event, high and low. I have school and work and sadly, my family is there when I can have time for it. Not my ideal, but I guess that is what happens when you decide what you want to do later in life. I guess that is where some of my inadequacies come into play. Your house is clean and put together, nicely decorated and in a beautiful location. Mine is not. Sure its OK, but I have neither the time nor the energy that it requires from me. I try, have big ideas and dreams, but I almost always fall short. I hear about your kids and think how great that they are so talented in so many ways. Sometimes hearing about all of their accomplishments makes me weak. I have the greatest kids whom I love with all of my beating heart. But I feel as though they could never compare with yours. I sometimes feel you think they are not as good or talented or special as yours. They are and I love them and care for them like no other. I do not have the strength anymore to deal with this friendship, I am tired. Tired for feeling less of a mom when I see all that you do; tired of feeling as though I am a failure because I have to miss something for work or school; tired of feeling like I have the poor house and you the rich. I am not perfect and neither are you. I know that you know that, but for now I have to work more on me and less on you. Tata for now... I know our paths will cross soon, but for now, I have to make it about me and my family.